DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
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