Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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