being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
sex in a hospital.. check
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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