I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
