I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
