I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
