she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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