We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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