After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
