Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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