he wants to bone in the snuggie
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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