your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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