It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
