Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I know her cup size but not her name....
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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