So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I need moral support for this bender
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
