Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
you would pick up someone in the library
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
