apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
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