1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
We are two peas in an std pod
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
