Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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