Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
