That's when you crack a 10am beer
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
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