This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
