ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
nutella sex= disaster
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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