Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
