I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
