you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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