Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
