My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
