So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
