Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
