And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Randomize
