Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
