My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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