My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
he shaved USA in his pubs
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Randomize
