He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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