My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
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