either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
