i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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