Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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