I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
