people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
