We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Randomize
