Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
