Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
17 year olds will be the death of me.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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