You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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