FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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