EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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