belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize
