Your tits are I can't wait for
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
you made out with another girl for some wings
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
