yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
