she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I FOUND THE LEGS
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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